{"id":229,"date":"2019-02-10T07:00:11","date_gmt":"2019-02-10T15:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/?p=999937894"},"modified":"2019-02-10T07:00:11","modified_gmt":"2019-02-10T15:00:11","slug":"valentines-day-things-to-do-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/hi-lo\/art\/valentines-day-things-to-do-single","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Daze: What to do if… Because you can"},"content":{"rendered":"

Valentine’s Day is coming and, as we are required by law, The Post is going to give you things to do on Feb. 14. But it would be irresponsible of us to further the myth that there is one Valentine’s Day. In fact, there are many, all of them dependent on a person’s circumstance and relationship status, all of them requiring different activities, sometimes dramatically so. With that in mind, we have come up with what to do with five very common, very\u00a0recognizable Valentine’s scenarios.<\/em><\/p>\n

Previously…<\/em><\/p>\n

New Couple\u2026 Are We a Couple?<\/a><\/p>\n

You\u2019re With the One.<\/a><\/p>\n

Got the time… No<\/a><\/p>\n

SCENARIO FOUR: DIVORCED AND SINGLE <\/strong><\/p>\n

One year I sat on a stool with a forced smile, hunched and painting a ceramic mug pink and red at Color Me Mine. Another year, I received a heartless card in the mail with a $20 bill inside from a boyfriend who was out of town; I tore up the cash and mailed it back.<\/p>\n

And, long ago, at a winsome 15, I received a small box with a thin gold bracelet inside, and my first kiss.<\/p>\n

This year on Valentine\u2019s Day, I will shrug. Not a trace of worry or angst. No butterflies; no expectations. I will not fret over my outfit or hair, nor wonder, in the slog of a long-term relationship, whether a card will suffice or if I should splurge on a heart-shaped cake pan.<\/p>\n

This year I will accept my mom\u2019s card in the mail\u2014I\u2019m 43 and not ashamed to say she still does that\u2014with sentimental gratitude.<\/p>\n

Fresh off divorce, I am free from the corporate ritual of Feb. 14. I will embrace the day without anger or regret.<\/p>\n

Join me\u2014metaphorically, that is. I prefer to be alone. Because I can.<\/p>\n

Assuming you don\u2019t have a job to go to, we\u2019re going to sleep in a bit and sip our coffee, then shower without shaving our legs. Throw on some jeans and a comfy flannel\u2014no need to dress up today\u2014and grab your batting glove.<\/p>\n

For this first excursion, we\u2019re going to hit some balls. To do this, we have to leave Long Beach; alas, our otherwise magnificent city does not have a single batting cage.<\/p>\n

You have two choices here: The swanky indoor cages at On Deck<\/a> in Signal Hill, where 25 bucks will buy you 30 minutes of unlimited pitches; or the more rustic All Star\u00a0Park Batting Cages<\/a> in Bellflower, where the price is cheaper, and sometimes negotiable (but stay away from the restrooms).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

There is nothing more cathartic than pounding a ball with a metal bat. It requires complete attention, with no space to let your mind drift into morbid self-pity: Keep your elbows up, your eye on the ball, your hips square. Choke up a bit, let your fingers relax and your legs do the work. Lean into it, and swing like an orangutan.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s cheaper, faster and more effective than a deep-tissue massage. I promise.<\/p>\n

Now that our minds are alert and muscles tired\u2014if you\u2019re hungry, swing by Costco across the street, grab a hot dog and soda for $1.50 and wolf it down in the car\u2014we\u2019re off to East Long Beach, to the Long Beach Animal Care Services<\/a> facility on Spring Street, near El Dorado Park.<\/p>\n

This may seem like single-lady cliche, but we\u2019re going to adopt a cat. Today is about freedom, after all, and doing at least one good (but selfishly-motivated) deed.<\/p>\n

Here again we have a choice: The ACS facility to the right, which is where you\u2019ll see felines milling about in small cages, some of them recently off the street, all of them facing an uncertain future; or the more cheery spcaLA facility to the left, at the P.D. Pitchford Animal Companion Village<\/a>, where cats frolic on carpeted furniture in airy open rooms.<\/p>\n

Because I\u2019m an exceptionally good person, I\u2019m going to adopt an old sedate cat at ACS (kittens are cute, and for this reason, they have a better shot at a furever<\/i> home, as the animal people say). Pick the most mangled feline in the place; it\u2019ll be more loyal than any companion you could hope for on Valentine\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n

One word of caution: Unless you plan to commit for the long-haul, do not take a cat home. Play with the cute little kittens at spcaLA, speak in a high-pitched voice, tickle their bellies, ask them who\u2019s a good cat. It\u2019ll still make their day, and it won\u2019t break their heart. There\u2019ll be none of that<\/i> today.<\/p>\n

Once we have our cat situated at home\u2014he or she will hide in the bathtub for about 72 hours, so we\u2019re free for the afternoon\u2014we\u2019re off to the recreational marijuana shop. No wine for us; that\u2019s for couples.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re unsure whether marijuana is for you\u2014personally, I don\u2019t touch the stuff\u2014stick with the CBD. Plunk down 80 bucks for a few stale cannabidiol gummy bears; you will immediately feel like a rock star.<\/p>\n

Myriad choices on where to go. Yelp has a helpful listing<\/a> of local dispensaries, complete with customer reviews (how times have changed), but I\u2019m going to recommend Connected Cannabis on Second Street in Belmont Shore, just so we can stroll by and laugh at the suckers hunched over ceramic figures at Color Me Mine.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time to head home and call it a day. Put on your slippers, coax your cat out of the tub\u2014let\u2019s name him Cupid, just to be ironic\u2014pop a gummy and take a nice sound bath.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been the best Valentine\u2019s Day since the glory days of February ’91. As cynical as life can get, nothing will ever top that one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fresh off divorce, I am free from the corporate ritual of Feb. 14. I will embrace the day without anger or regret. Join me\u2014metaphorically, that is. I prefer to be alone. Because I can.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":206,"featured_media":65758,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"newspack_sponsor_sponsorship_scope":"","newspack_sponsor_native_byline_display":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_native_category_display":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_underwriter_style":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_underwriter_placement":"inherit","inline_featured_image":false,"newspack_ads_suppress_ads":false,"newspack_popups_has_disabled_popups":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"_":"","_author_alias":"","cap-aim":"","cap-description":"","cap-display_name":"","cap-first_name":"","cap-jabber":"","cap-last_name":"","cap-linked_account":"","cap-newspack_employer":"","cap-newspack_job_title":"","cap-newspack_phone_number":"","cap-newspack_role":"","cap-user_email":"","cap-user_login":"","cap-website":"","cap-yahooim":"","newspack_article_summary":"","newspack_email_html":"","newspack_email_type":"","newspack_featured_image_position":"","newspack_hide_page_title":"","newspack_hide_updated_date":false,"newspack_post_subtitle":"","newspack_show_share_buttons":"","newspack_sponsor_byline_prefix":"","newspack_sponsor_disclaimer_override":"","newspack_sponsor_flag_override":"","newspack_sponsor_only_direct":"","newspack_sponsor_url":"","newspack_article_summary_title":"Overview:","newspack_show_updated_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[3,165],"newspack_spnsrs_tax":[],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art","tag-instagram","tag-valentines-day","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/206"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/65758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=229"},{"taxonomy":"newspack_spnsrs_tax","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/newspack_spnsrs_tax?post=229"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lbpost.com\/esd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}