Wendi Bear: Crushing The Kinky Donut • Long Beach Post

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On Thursday, June 13, at 7PM, author Wendi Bear will be reading from her book, It’s Not My Fault, at Gatsby Books. Two years ago, she began a difficult journey. With two kids in tow, she left her husband and moved back into her childhood home to care for her ailing grandparents, who raised her. Unable to find work as a cosmetologist–her career for 15 years–she began to reflect on her life, and started writing. 


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“I was on a path to bettering myself, and being a good role model for my children. With the lack of work, I had more time on my hands and needed a way to escape and create. I began writing, using old Android cell phone to post on a blog. It started off as self therapy but then immediately grew into a piece of art.

“I think all fiction stems form the writer’s real life. I take inspiration from my life and twist it into art. Make things into what I want them to be. Still, it was like magic. I can’t explain it. It just started spewing out of me. I would tell a story but then go back and change things to make it really come to life. It was like the angels were possessing me to write the bible, if the bible were a trash magazine.”

Her blog, which she created primarily to amuse herself, developed a following which grew surprisingly large.

“The first time I realized I was making an impression was when a distant friend, from over 15 years ago, messaged me asking if I was ‘Electrikkiss,’ telling me how much he laughed at my story, and that he was sharing it. It seemed like, every day, I picked up a new fan. It still seems that way. People are curious about what it’s all about. I can’t even say for sure what it is about. It is art, and I put out there what comes to me. Art is self expression, even if it is trash.”

One of the things that fans adore are the photos and videos that Bear has created. They’re little vignettes, often connected to moments in the book and sometimes just playful character studies. I asked her about them.

“Well, I don’t do porn! I feel as if I must express this often. I try to push the boundaries as far as I can and still get away with it. I press the nudity as far as I can without actually being fully nude. The videos started as a way to promote the book and ended up with a fan base of their very own.

“I don’t plot out my stories, or try to write or plan the photo shoots or videos. I wait for the ideas to come to me. The first photo shoot was done as a tribute to my character’s love interest. My main character still has yet to be named, and is called ‘*****’ in the book. I call the love interest ‘Donut.’ So, before the shoot I bought out half a donut shop. I posed nude with the donuts, in every way you can imagine. Then I had my assistant chuck donuts at my face and filmed it, then filmed a clip of myself stomping a jelly donut to death. This was the creation of not only the book cover but the first promotional video. Also, I write a story about the shoot and included it in the book.

{loadposition latestlife}”The second shoot was shot with a different photographer. I called this shoot ‘Bare Bear.’ It was myself, again nude, dressed as [Teddy] bear. I posed with stitches drawn on my body and pillow stuffing as to symbolize my guts coming out of myself. The second photographer is ashamed of my work and requested that I not give him credit for the photos.”

Bear confesses that her main character’s lack of a name is not some clever literary device but, rather, a lack of inspiration.

“As I said before, the art comes to me and the name just hasn’t! I can’t give her my name because she is not me. She is just a reflection of a part of me. I have had three cats in my life, and all were named ‘Nermal.’ [laughs] My kids are lucky they have names.

“Donut was inspired by a man I had an obsession with. I write about what I see in people, and not what they show the world they are, so I don’t feel that any of my characters would be recognizable in real life. Donut was just an average guy who worked an average 9-5 and will never be more than just average. Except for his kinky fetishes that I go into full detail about in the book so, unless you went to bed with him, you would never know.

“I am 100% real. I couldn’t pretend to be anything but. Most people are not that real. People care about appearances. I think because of this I get ‘real’ out of people. I get a side of them they don’t show others, but it scares them. They must go back to the facade at some point. I think it’s both a gift and a curse. However it leads to some incredible muses.”

Bear admits that, currently, she’s single and available. She’s not found that her book is a detriment to dating.

“It turns out that men cannot read. They just look at pictures and they like my pictures. Actually, the majority of men I have dated this year have found me through my website, and were fans first. I’m a joker! I haven’t been dating, really. My grandfather passed away in February. My family had us thrown out of the house, and we have been living out of motels.

“You have to say goodbye to fear and not worry about being judged. The world is so much bigger than the people in it, anyway. Just look into the sky at night. Kurt Cobain said it best: ‘I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.’ People are going to judge you anyway, but the ones who do aren’t worth your time.

“It’s the people that love you unconditionally that are worth it. After this death, and losing everything, I gained some true friends and I will say that they are not at all who I expected they would be, Definitely, it was not the man I thought I was in love with.

“It has been an amazing inspiration! The next book is already in the process, with an entirely new love interest/obsession. Plus, I was still able to get the book to press after the death, and the second edition paperbacks will be available for the Gatsby signing. The second edition ebook should be available this week.”

Ultimately, one thing has continued to motivate Bear.

“Laughter is key to healing, and when you can make other people laugh you have really tapped into something. I take every little piece of me and exaggerate her to the absolute fullest! I like to laugh, so playing and over-indulging in smaller feelings and emotions crack me up: The drama of being female and in love.”

Gatsby Books is located at 5535 E Spring Street. To learn about additional readings and other events, visit GatsbyBooks.com. Join Wendi’s growing fan base at ElectrikKiss.com.

You can purchase the newly revised 2nd edition of It’s Not My Fault from Amazon. The ebook is available from most online booksellers.

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