Mike: admittedly, I haven’t watched a ton of MLB postseason action in my life.  But still, JJ, can’t they institute some rule where everybody gets a chance to bat each inning?  Or at least the guys from my hometown?

JJ: No, Mike, because that wouldn’t be baseball.  That would be curling.  Why don’t you play some Scrabble or something, I’ll let you know when Evan or Chase is up.

Mike: Ooh!  Utley’s up.

JJ: Watching baseball with you is like watching a kitten with a ball of yarn… Like I said on SportsNight, Utley is being that stalwart in the middle of the Phillie lineup, plays the patient hitter, and draws a walk…

Mike:  Booo! Baseball sucks.  Even just put his glove up Jimmy Rollins butt, and they called him safe.  Booo!

JJ:  You’re right, Mike.  Worst call of the series so far, and there have been more than a few.

Mike: Alright, I’ll handle this, Longoria’s up.  Aaaaaaaand Longoria struck out.  Again.  He’s probably still just pissed off about that yahoo crackpot call at third. 

JJ: Mike, I think Evan needs to just go up there and swing the first pitch.  When he sits back like that and watches them, I think he gets psyched out.

Mike: JJ, I think what he needs to do is hit like, three home runs.  That’s get him back in the swing of things.

JJ: Utley stays patient, and puts the ball in play after working another 3-ball count.  Iwamura boots the slow roller, and Utley goes to third after Howard’s single.

Mike: What happened with Iwamura there?  They said they thought the ball hit the lip, but it looked like he just muffed it to me.  

Mike: Utley on third again.  Is he shopping for real estate there?  When he’s on third, there’s a high concentration of Long Beach in that four feet square of the World Series.

Mike: I think he’s gonna go and try to hit a home run here…

JJ:  Who are you, Tony Siragusa?

Mike: Oh, that’s below the belt… I was just trying to be funny.

JJ: Longoria grounds out to J-Roll, and he shows off his arm.  Contact!  That’s a step in the right direction.  He just looks uncomfortable up there.

Mike: Like a grandma with a new iPhone.  I could see he was trying for a home run there, though.  He’s using my strategy.  I wonder if his hitting coach is reading the live blog? 2-1 Philly

Mike:  Let’s go, Utley!

JJ: Ohhh, those were some nasty pitches to strike out Utley.  Sonnanstine seems to pitch better with runners on and…. nevermind.  Howard goes deep opposite field.  Wow.  That was a shot! 5-1 Philly

JJ: FOX just put up a game summary that was made up by three home runs.  That’s not the story!  If they get the call right at 3rd when Evan damn near gave J-Roll a prostate exam with his glove while tagging him out, we might be looking at a very different game.  Sonnanstine might still be on the bump.  He probably wouldn’t have just given up a home run to Philly starter Joe Blanton, the first of his career.  6-2 Phillies (I just checked ESPN.com, they got it right.)

Mike: Blanton is on right now!  

JJ: This is why they traded for him.  He can take over a game.  Longoria helped him out though…

Mike: That was his pitch!

JJ:The third strike…

Mike: Yeah!  That was a lamb chop past a lion!  He’s gotta let one loose right there.

JJ: Even if he flies out…

Mike: That would get him out of this funk.

JJ: Why do you keep finishing my…

Mike: Sandwiches!?

JJ: Another good at bat from Utley, but another K.

Mike: You mean future Poly Baseball coach Chase Utley?

JJ: I like how your mind works.  By the way, can anyone explain this video to me?

Mike: I believe that is a video visualization of a game of Battleship.

JJ: I think it’s… well, like, pretend you’re the catcher… right?

Mike: Yeah, or a weird eye test.

JJ:  You think that that video could help Longoria?

Mike: JJ, I know he needs to relax, but Battleship isn’t the answer.  Maybe Connect Four?

JJ: What a play by Iwamura!

JJ:  There you go, Evan!  Too bad he pulled that ball too much… and of course it wouldn’t be complete without another K.  He looks like a rookie when he chases that down and away ball again and again.

Mike: And Utley walks again.  He’s getting some good cardio tonight.  After those homers, I can only imagine the Rays’ thought process right now, staring a game 5 in the face: “Well, maybe they got all the big shots out of their system.”