<\/div>\n<\/p>\n
Dear HST,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n How ya doing Ace?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I’ve been thinking a lot about you recently; in fact two things always make me think of you: Las Vegas, and the end of the football season.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>With the end of the season rapidly approaching I wanted to take this time to write to you.<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I always wanted to meet you, heck to be you—but a more sober you.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>It’s been nearly 4 years since you killed yourself.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You were 67, and you always wanted to go out, Hemingway-style, by your own hand.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But that’s not why you did it; you killed yourself because ‘Football Season is over,’ at least that’s what you titled your suicide note.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You watched the Super Bowl (the Patriots’ 3rd win in 4 years), then you stayed around another week for the Pro Bowl but by the 3rd<\/span><\/span><\/sup> Sunday in February—the first Sunday after the season was really over—you just couldn’t take it anymore.<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I like to think that it was Bill Belichick that drove you over the edge.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>A sweaty little insecure man, he had to remind you of Nixon—this was even before we learned of Bill’s spying tendencies.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You hated Nixon; you felt he “was an evil man—evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it.”<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I just picture Belichick getting fired from the Browns, hosting a press conference and swearing off football: <\/span>You won’t have Billy Belichick to kick around anymore…<\/span><\/i><\/span> <\/span><\/span>So I think seeing Belichick be called a genius had to be hard on you and to do it as a “Patriot” had an irony that I’m sure you could appreciate.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But last season, oh you would have <\/span>loved<\/span><\/i><\/span> last season: seeing him win by a landslide, seeing him near perfection, but then…well, then Bill Belichick was humbled.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>It was a sight to see.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>In fact you’ve missed a lot last 4 seasons, and I’d love to take some time to tell you about this past season…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n The 49ers struggled early before ending the season on a winning streak.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You were a San Francisco 49er fan through and through.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I would have loved to talk Niner football with you, talk Bill Walsh with you. I bet you called him “Stanford” and you mocked his Ivy-League-of-the-West-Coast-style, but you would have respected and loved the intelligence that he brought to football.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But these aren’t Walsh’s Niners anymore; what would you think of Mike Singletary?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>What would you have said about the Niners now?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>They’re on their way up but the Yorks are gonna ruin it?<\/span><\/i><\/span> <\/span><\/span>Would these last few years of losing have turned you into a pessimist or would you still believe that Shaun Hill could lead you to the playoffs?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I think you would be so excited about their prospects that you could hardly contain yourself.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n The Raiders struggled early, and often.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Ya know, it’s funny, if you weren’t a Niners fan I kinda expected you to be a Raider guy, but Madden’s Raiders, Alzado’s Raiders, they would have been yours; the Raiders of today, the Al Davis of today, would have only been a reminder of the dangers of getting old.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>The tarnish on these teams—teams that were great in the 70s and 80s<\/span><\/i><\/span>—I<\/span> <\/span><\/span>bet you would have written about that.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n But as any good Niner fan, you <\/span>hated<\/span><\/i><\/span> the Dallas Cowboys, and I bet you would have hated Tony Romo too.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>So I’m sure you would have enjoyed the Cowboys collapse this year (and really every year for a decade).<\/span> <\/span><\/span>The weight of expectations pushing down on America’s Team, on America itself<\/span><\/i><\/span>; I bet that would have been a theme for you.<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I wish you could have written about New York this year.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Did you hate Eli Manning—an underachiever trading on the family name—I wonder if you would have compared him to W?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Or would you have changed your opinion of him after last Super Bowl?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I did; of course in this year’s playoffs he reverted to form, so what do I know?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Speaking of changing opinions, how hard would you have been on Brett Favre?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Even as a Niner fan I don’t think you hated him; but this season he crashed to Earth.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Would you have piled on, <\/span>a warrior fighting one too many times<\/span><\/i><\/span>? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n If I am right, and you did hate Belichick, would you have liked seeing him this year without Tom Brady?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Matt Cassell carried that team to 11 wins and yet they missed the playoffs; I wonder how you would have treated their surprising success before they fell short?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Ya know, you kinda softened on Nixon later in life; you eventually respected him as a football fan.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Would you have done the same to Belichick, would you have respected those 11 wins more than the 3 championships he had with Brady?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>As much as I don’t like him, when Brady went down we all said <\/span>Well now we’ll find out what kind of coach Bill Belichick is<\/span><\/i><\/span>.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>And you know, it turns out he’s pretty damn good.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Would you have cheered for the Lions to go 0-16?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>They are a poorly run organization, and they deserved those 16 losses, but would you have had mercy on their souls—or would you want them condemned to their disgrace?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I wonder if you enjoyed sports for their degradation of losers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Did you like Donovan McNabb coming back after the benching, after the booing, and leading his team to the playoffs?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I wonder if you enjoyed sports for the redemption.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n You hated the Ravens of 2000, so I can’t imagine you would have much cared for this year’s version; but what about Tenneessee or Pittsburgh?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>Haynesworth was a beast in the middle, and Polamalu was crazy-good patrolling the field, Ed Reed too.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You were always more of an offense guy, but could you have grown to love the D this year?<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n In September 2001, you wrote a column that basically predicted every world event that would happen during the Bush administration.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You predicted Iraq right away, you predicted the economic troubles and the cost of gas.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>You were scared, and scary, but you pretty much nailed what was gonna happen during that administration.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But could you have seen these Arizona Cardinals coming?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I mean, these guys weren’t supposed to win a playoff game, now people are picking them to win the Super Bowl?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>This season has been Weird.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But you loved the high-flying attack, so would you have been cheering for them to put up 50 points in a year where everybody else was based on their Defense?<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I wish I could hear your thoughts on this season.<\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n There was no football this past Sunday. <\/span> <\/span><\/span>This weekend is the Super Bowl, and then of course the Pro Bowl, so football season’s not done yet.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>But that first Sunday without football—that methadone Sunday designed to prepare us to be off it completely—made me think about you.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>About how much you probably hated the bye-week Sunday.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>How much you hated methadone.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>How much you hated not having that high that watching football gave you.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I always wanted to be a more sober version of you, but this past Sunday always makes me think of you, because man, I know how you felt.<\/span> <\/span><\/span>I <\/span>hate <\/span><\/i><\/span>not having football, I <\/span>hate <\/span><\/i><\/span>