<\/p>\n
A quick window into my thought process, here: we’re running occasional coverage of local pro baseball teams. <\/span>Football is better than baseball. <\/span>Therefore, we should run occasional coverage of local pro football teams. <\/span>Granted, it may just be a reason for me to make with the yuk-yuks…but I’m okay with that. <\/span>So, without further ado, here are my biased, subjective observations from the first row of the Press section of Jack Murphy Field at Qualcomm Stadium, with some henceforth unacknowledged help by Ryan “Leaky Pipes” Thies.<\/p>\n \n 1. <\/span>Some of these won’t be all that football related. <\/span>For example: there are about a half dozen bats flying around the stadium right now. <\/span>WTF? <\/span><\/p>\n 2. <\/span>I don’t want to start rumors, but I think there’s a pretty good chance Nate Kaeding is on steroids. <\/span>He’s accurate but usually not real strong-legged, but he’s booted a few kickoffs into end zone territory, and he made a 53-yard field goal with room to spare. <\/span>This is good news…unless he gets caught.<\/p>\n 3. <\/span>Terrell Owens’ earring is visible from outer space…or at least seventy yards away, where we’re sitting. <\/span>Also, if his dancing is any indication, he’s a Kanye fan.<\/p>\n 4. <\/span>Damn we’re deep at cornerback! <\/span>Solid play from the position throughout the game, even after the starters are out. <\/span>Cason especially looks unbelievable. <\/span>I know it’s only preseason, but he’s playing like everyone expected Jammer to.<\/p>\n 5. <\/span>Okay the bats are flying kind of close to my feet now. <\/span>They look drunk—I think they’re used to the empty stadium, and since they navigate by sound 61,000 screaming fans are probably messing with them. <\/span>Still, stay away from my feet, bats.<\/p>\n 6. <\/span>Norv is trying out some new formations on offense, some pre-snap shifts. <\/span>I like it. <\/span>I still have reservations about him, but I like it. <\/span>Where was this last year—never putting Burner Turner and LT in the backfield at the same time is still inexcusable.<\/p>\n 7. <\/span>Just like to point out that in the last two years, while we’ve been here, the Bolts are 15-1. <\/span>This has nothing to do with LT, and everything to do with me, I’m sure of it.<\/p>\n 8. <\/span>One thing that’s always fun is jersey-spotting fans of the opposing team. <\/span>We expected to see a ton of Aikman, Irvin, and Smith jerseys, but it’s primarily Romo and TO. <\/span>In fact, TO vastly outnumbers anyone else, and we only saw one fan in an Aikman jersey. <\/span>Which means we saw as many Quincy Carter jerseys as Troy Aikman jerseys. <\/span>Seriously.<\/p>\n 9. <\/span>Jacob Hester looks great as a third option at running back or second option at fullback. <\/span>His play tonight (two touchdowns and a ton of hard running) has guaranteed his roster spot, for sure, and I wonder if he’s looking to jump over Darren Sproles to get the number two rushing spot. <\/span>Sproles put on a hell of a show himself tonight…<\/p>\n 10. <\/span>One of the bats just landed about three feet from TO. <\/span>I almost just saw the funniest NFL story of the season. <\/span>Alas!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 11. <\/span>We scored 31 points tonight off of 213 yards of offense. <\/span>That’s an average of around forty yards of offense each scoring drive—that means our defense and special teams are playing unbelievably. <\/span>It’s going to be a good year.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 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