It\u2019s Day 66, just 600 days shy of the Mark of the Beast festival. And on days like this when I\u2019m sort of weary about the lockdown, I get to the point where I\u2019m about ready to open my house as a fitness center or yoga ashram like all the cool rich kids are doing now: Club Grobix.<\/p>\n
My list of chores and exciting new discoveries as forced upon me by my beloved and terribly missed coworkers at the Post and Business Journal (aka the biggest and most dependable news outlet in our city) is growing rapidly and fast outpacing my talents. I can do a lot of things now, none of them particularly well. I can say \u201cI drink water\u201d and \u201cI eat bread\u201d in Spanish, I can paint by numbers once I throw away the numbers, I can sit cross-legged and breath like a black-belt yogi and I can bake flat bread (not to be confused with flatbread) and now you can go ahead and say I\u2019m a guy who can make a TikTok video. Who wouldn\u2019t hire me?<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are a lot of old people on TikTok now,\u201d chirped the patronizing reporter Valerie Osier, skirting dangerously close to actionable ageism. Like it wasn\u2019t bad enough she chose a dinosaur for me to paint.<\/p>\n
The TikTok assignment came from City Hall reporter Jason Ruiz, who admirably didn\u2019t make any snide remarks about the tenuous grasp old people are said to have on technology.\u00a0 Hey, old people sent men to the moon using nothing but a church key and parts of an old walkie-talkie.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not, despite my young age, a huge fan of TikTok. My robust attention span seeks out videos that are longer than a minute, and I\u2019m always exasperated when a TiKTok ends on a cliffhanger and the viewer is extorted with \u201cLike me for part two.\u201d I won\u2019t. I can\u2019t claim to like someone when my first introduction to them is irritating. I won\u2019t live that lie.<\/p>\n
So I watched a couple of YouTube (the Facebook to TikTok\u2019s Instagram) videos on how to make a TikTok video and I was urged to dance, lip-sync or put stupid hats on my dogs. The dog video was tempting, but Jasper\u2019s not in a stupid-hat mood right now. He\u2019s got a torn ligament in one hind leg ($3,500 to fix) and over the weekend he tore up his left front paw (cost TBA, but I\u2019m guessing $400, pretty much what a vet charges if you walk in the door) so walking is a bit of a chore and he\u2019s not going to put on an outfit for a video.<\/p>\n
\n@timbojohn<\/a>My first and best TikTok. Like me for part 2. ##longbeachpost<\/a> ##lbpost<\/a>\u266c original sound – timbojohn<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n