One by one, guests trickle into Everywhere Long Beach, check in to pick up name tags, bingo cards, and raffle tickets, then search for a table.
Some head to the bar for liquid courage, while others glance down at their phones until other attendees start pulling up chairs, trying to strike up conversations. Blessedly, the board games arrive — with puzzles to piece together and UNO cards to shuffle — and suddenly the pressure of making a connection gives way to shared comfort.
The Socially Awkward Dating (SAD) singles mixer aims to create a comfortable atmosphere because, as their tagline reads: “Dating is awkward, so are you. Let’s embrace it.”
During their first event on Thursday, Oct. 22, crafts, conversation starters, and group table games were offered to give attendees autonomy and allow them to interact at their own pace. Hannah Han, a life coach who specializes in neurodivergent young people, co-founded the SAD singles mixer with neurodivergent individuals in mind.
“We felt this is more of a natural way and a lower-pressure way to get to know people. When you have something to do versus just a conversation, it releases a lot of that pressure,” Han said.
She notes that instead of the hurried timed rotations of traditional speed dating, SAD mixers allow participants to establish a more genuine connection.
“Especially with Gen Z who are so concerned about not being cringy or awkward, this stuff is going to be awkward, so my other thing for this is let’s just be our awkward weird selves — don’t try to be cool or be someone you’re not,” Han said. “You’re probably gonna find people who are the same way.”
Han explains there is a common term called ‘masking,’ where you hide neurodivergent traits to fit into neurotypical social situations — like on-the-spot small talk. Structured activities, like board games, can help neurodivergent people avoid masking and feel more open to connecting with others.
“A big piece of this anti-speed dating is we’re taking away the pressure to have to tell everyone about yourself within two minutes before you get to see the next person,” said Sabrina Lyen, a life coach and co-founder of SAD. “That’s not how you naturally get to know anybody.”
Wesley Pounds, a Long Beach resident who attended the SAD mixer, said he was able to step out of his comfort zone and socialize thanks, in part, to the brewery’s ambiance and the dance playlist.
“I don’t really go to dating events or events in general. I’ve never really gone on many dates,” Pounds said. “So I thought, ‘Why not try something different and be around other people who wanted to try it too?’”
Peter Rios is new to Long Beach, and his job as a restoration technician requires him to travel across the state 40 to 60 hours a week. He wanted to bypass the standard 5-minute speed dating formats to use what little free time he has to create meaningful interactions.
“Usually I’m a really solitary type of guy, and I realized that can be really bad for my social skills,” Rios said. “Coming home when you’re beat up from [work], you don’t really feel like doing anything, so you have to force yourself to do stuff. I saw this event and what better way to get out and come to something that will break you out of your shell. If I find somebody, cool. If I can’t, then at least I’m out there experiencing my city.”
Han and Lyen are working on another holiday-themed mixer for December and eventually a meet-a-friend event. Lynn said they hope to turn SAD into a regular series.
“We want to open it up to, ‘Hey, here is how you get to know people on a friendship level, too,’” Lynn said. “Because I got feedback that people want to go, but aren’t ready to date.”
SAD will host their next event on Friday, Dec. 11. Follow them on Instagram for more updates.