Originally posted 07/10/07
“He—hello?”
“Hey, Dad.”
“What time is it?”
“About 3:30 I think, I don’t know they took my watch…I think it is 6:30 for you.”
“Why are you calling so early?”
“Dad, I was, um, I was arrested a little while ago.”
“What!?! Arrested?!? What happened?”
“I was speeding on the freeway.”
“Speeding? What were you driving?”
“The Prius of course, they said I was going about 100.”
“Well at least you were in an eco-friendly vehicle, although Son
just because it is eco-friendly you must know it is a motor vehicle and capable of dangerous speeds.”
“I know Dad, I love that it is environmentally friendly, economical and can really fly. Um Dad, there is something else. I am also charged with possession.”
“WHAT?!? Possession of what?”
“I had some pot in the car…”
“Oh Son, marijuana? Really?”
“It’s okay Dad, the grower is real cool. He uses solar powered lighting for his plants, has a water recirculation system and guarantees his stuff is very Green green.”
“Well that is good to know. So many of those marijuana growers just care about the money and not our earth.”
“Dad, there’s something else.”
“What more can there be? Was anyone hurt?”
“No, no one was hurt. But I had some other drugs in the car as well, Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall. But Dad I want you to know that they were all generic—none of them were from any of the drug companies that are screwing Americans for ridiculous profits.”
“Well that is nice to know Son, but you should not be using those kinds of narcotics. I am glad however that when you make a bad choice you make the right choice.”
“Dad, you should come out here, these guys are killing the environment. I was pulled over by a cop in a Crown Victoria. Do you know what kind of mileage they get? Plus it smelled like this guy needed maintenance and I know it was spuing carbons. Plus they actually have incandescent bulbs all over this jail. I mean, haven’t they heard of fluorescent? They just burn energy, some kind of power trip for them I guess.”
“Try not to be too judgemental Son, perhaps they just need some education and they will improve their habits.”
“Well Dad, gotta go, Sis is here in her Maserati to pick me up. I’ll tell her to take it slow and remind her how you don’t like the footprint it leaves.”
“Thanks for letting us know Al, glad no one is hurt. See you in New York for the Earth concert.”
“Dad, I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave the state. I’ll call you later and let you know. Peace and Green Dad.”
“Peace and Green.”