Tens of thousands of people will be flocking to (or leaving, depending on your view of the event) Long Beach to partake in its annual Pride event.

The event’s keystone, the Pride Parade, will commence at 10AM on Sunday, May 18 as it always does, but there are a plethora of events leading up to and surrounding the parade that one can have endless fun for the entire week.

Here is your complete guide to Pride 2014.

Wednesday, May 14

• POST’S PICK TO SING PROUD: Priscilla, Queen of the Desert Sing Along

In the name of drag, you are being asked to summon your best Priscilla, Queen of the Desert costume and pre-Pride it out at the Art Theatre with a sing-along to the famously gay film that has become a cult classic. Priscilla will be screened at the Art Theatre on Wednesday, May 14 at 7PM. Tickets are $12 for general admission or $10 if you happen to be ballsy enough to dress up. Tickets can be found here.

Thursday, May 15

• POST’S PICK TO PUNK IT UP: Shitting Glitter, Live at the Prospector

The queer-punk-shiny-things awesomeness that is Shitting Glitter [pictured right] will be performing live at the famed and equally awesome Prospector in order to raise funds for a friend battling bone cancer (not to mention join in on the Pride fun with one of the coolest queer acts around). The party begins at 9PM at the Prospector, located at 2400 E 7th Street. Tickets are $5 and you can RSVP here.

• POST’S PICK TO GET ON STAGE: We’re All Queer Cabaret Show at Long Beach Playhouse

As the saying goes, you don’t have to be gay to be queer—and this awesome cabaret show celebrates the diversity of us all with the Long Beach Playhouse crew taking to the stage in an all-queered-out performance that is sure to inspire even the most grumpiest of cats. Tickets are a measly $5. RSVP here.

• “Laugh Till You Tinkle” Comedy Show

The organization that is the Long Beach Lesbian & Gay Pride, Inc. will be hosting a comedy show MC’d by none other than Jewels. Konner H.Kienzel, Halle Hohnson, She4Me, Comedians Sampson and Vicki Wagner will all do their best to bust your gut with stand-up. “Laugh Till You Tinkle” will begin at 8PM 8PM at the Art Theatre of Long Beach, located 2025 E 4th Street. For tickets, click here.

• Baby, You Are My Religion Book Signing

Long before the LGBT community reaped the benefits of the Stonewall revolution, there was one place and one place only they could commune: the bar. Local author, researcher, and academic Marie Cartier explores the role of the bar-as-church for the LGBT community pre- and post-Stonewall in her book Baby, You Are My Religion. She will be signing copies of her book as well as speaking at Gatsby Books, located at 5535 E Spring Street, at 7PM on Thursday, May 15.

• Icons Drag Show at Ripples: The Roast of Miss Conception

The drag awesomeness that is Ripples staple Miss Conception (aka Shaun Kinkade) will be hosting her Icons Drag Show as always—but of course, really kicking off Pride (Thursday has always been the new Friday after all) and letting her drag sisters spit roast her (in more ways than one). Drag Race alumni Wendy Ho, Shannel, and Big Dee will all be performing. Show begins at 10PM at Ripples, located at 5101 E. Ocean Blvd. RSVP here.

• Long Beach Lambda Democratic Club Pride Fundraiser

For the third year in a row, Long Beach’s LGBT-based Democratic Club will host a fundraiser while LGBT Democrats can meet a plethora of their representatives: Senator Ricardo Lara, Vice Mayor Robert Garcia, Councilmember Suja Lowenthal, Councilmember Elect Suzie Price, Councilmember Elect Rex Richardson, School Board Member Elect Megan Kerr, Trustee Elect Sunny Zia, and Council Candidate Lena Gonzalez. The fundraiser begins at 6:30PM at Paradise, located at 1800 E Broadway, on Thursday, May 15. RSVP here.

Friday, May 16

• Long Beach Teen Pride

Only Teen Pride would shameless advertise a twerking contest. Video game truck? Check. Free food? Check. Free swag? Double check. And no old trolls: youths only, ages 12 to 19. Festivities start at 4PM at 400 Seaside Drive. The even is free with student ID. RSVP here.

• Veggie Pride at Steamed

We know you’ve been on your Pride Diet and there is no reason to fall off the track you’ve been on: Steamed, Long Beach’s vegetarian grub hub staple, will be kicking off Pride at 6PM with $3 organic beer and wine, live music, and good vibes and food. Steamed Organic Vegetarian Cuisine is located at 801 E. 3rd. RSVP here.

• POST’S PICK TO GO PINK OR GO HOME: Pink Party: Rue Le Cirque

The official Pride kick-off party is now fully in the hands of the LGBTQ Center of Long Beach and they will be taking over the heart of Downtown Long Beach with Rue Le Cirque. Drag race alumni will perform, Lindsay Alley will be hanging out, circus performers will grace your presence, roller derby queens will dominate… There’s little reason not to go. RSVP here before the event itself, which will take place at 3rd & Pacific at 8PM on Friday, May 16.

• Long Beach Dyke March

For the ladies, there is the second annual Long Beach Dyke March, set to occur at 6:30PM beginning at Bixby Park, 130 Cherry Avenue. Nearly 400 people attended last year.

• 28 Degrees LB at Paradise

DJ/Producer Dax Delgado, disco maven Steve Flores, house stalwart Joey Avila, and local favorite Konrad Parker will be spinning music until the wee hours of the morn to kick off Pride at Paradise. No cover and the party begins at 9PM. Paradise is located at 1800 E Broadway. RSVP here.

Saturday, May 17

• POST’S PICK TO BE YOU: Open Photo Shoot: Pride Edition

It’s simple but beautiful: show up camera ready, be you, and have your photo gorgeously shot by Luminaire Images Photography and organized by Sal Flores of Get Out LB. If you haven’t seen photos from previous shoots, you must. Even better? It benefits the AIDS Food Store. Get tickets here. The event will occur at Art Exchange 356 E 3rd Street beginning at 10AM.

• The 2014 Pride Festival

The first of two days of non-stop partying from 11AM to 11PM as the Pride Festival overtakes the Shoreline Park. Commanderess Kelly Rowland will take to the Main Stage at 9PM. Tickets are $20 at the gate.

• POST’S PICK FOR EYE CANDY: Play@ Maya Pool Party

Quite arguably Pride’s most popular event (duh, who wouldn’t want to be on the South Shore?), Play@ Maya starts at noon at the pool of Hotel Maya. Music and half-naked men galore, we forewarn that come 3:30ish, it becomes a bit… Hectic. Hotel Maya is located at 700 Queensway Drive. Tickets are $30 and can be purchased here.

• Mr., Miss, & Ms. Long Beach Gay Pride Contest

The winners of each category will be announced at Hamburger Mary’s at 6PM on May 10. Hamburger Mary’s is located at 330 Pine Avenue.

• Kevin Wood at Cafe Ambrosia

Shortly after his third album release, local musician Kevin Woods will perform at Cafe Ambrosia singing both his original music and popular hits. The show begins at 7PM at Cafe Ambrosia, located at 1923 E Broadway. RSVP here.

• POST’S PICK TO ROCK OUT: Hedwig’s LBC Pride Party at Clancy’s

Oh yes: Temecula band The Infamous THEY will play queer cult favorite Hedwig and the Angry Inch in its entirety. Don’t put your wig in a box—bring the damn thing out. The Hedwig madness begins at 10:30PM following an original set from the band at 9PM and will take place at Clancy’s Irish Pub, located 803 E Broadway. The event is free. RSVP here.

• POST’S PICK TO DANCE: Poseidon on the Queen Mary

DJs/Producers Ryan Kenney and Wayne G will take over the biggest Mary in town for an all-night dance haven that includes a hunky sailor contest. House staple Kenney will spin from 9 to 11:30PM while Wayne G will close out the night until 2AM. Tickets are $29 online or $40 at the door. The event is for those 21 and over only. Tickets can be purchased here. RSVP here.

Sunday, May 18

• POST’S PICK TO COME TOGETHER: Pride Parade

Stretching along Ocean Boulevard from Lindero Avenue west to Alamitos, the Pride Parade is a Long Beach cultural staple. Packed with onlookers, music, performers, and everything in between, it is a must for partiers and families alike. The event is free—just beware of massive parking issues.

• The 2014 Pride Festival

The second of two days of non-stop partying from 11AM to 11PM takes place as the Pride Festival finishes its overtake of the Shoreline Park. Commanderess Dev will take to the Main Stage at 9PM while all-gay rapper Cazwell will melt your ice cream at 8PM. Tickets are $20 at the gate.