By: Arthur Bretschneider, CEO & Co-Founder of Seniorly
As the CEO of Seniorly, my journey into the world of senior living has always been personal. My grandpa Hans opened the first purpose-built senior living facility in Mill Valley, California, in 1962. I grew up running the halls of Mill Valley and my first job was as a dishwasher in the community. As I got older and ran the community, I saw firsthand how important his vision was – and is – to create environments that not only cared for older adults but also empowered them to live longer, more fulfilling lives. Fast forward more than half a century, and I find myself continuing that mission, albeit through a very different lens.
In 2014, I co-founded Seniorly with my friends Sushanth Ramakrishna and Kunal Shah. We wanted to modernize the way families approach the search for senior living communities. We saw that the process was often confusing, fragmented, and lacked the transparency that families truly need when making such an important decision. Our mission was clear: we aimed to build the first purpose-built online marketplace to simplify that journey, providing families with free personalized support, and empowering them to search for senior living options in a way that suited their unique needs.
But as we developed this platform, I couldn’t help but reflect on the personal experience that led to our work. Like many of you, I’ve had to have the difficult conversation with a loved one about their future living situation. It’s never an easy subject to approach. It often feels like revisiting “the talk” you had years ago with your parents, only this time the conversation involves their changing needs and the possibility of moving into assisted living or a similar community.
The underlying dynamics are familiar: a desire for autonomy, a fear of losing independence, and the universal challenge of facing new stages of life. These conversations are complex, but they are necessary. At Seniorly, we have worked with thousands of families over the years, helping them navigate this transition. And of course, I’ve learned a few things along the way. Here’s my best advice on how to have the talk about senior living with your parents:
- Start Early and Build Trust It’s crucial to begin the conversation long before a crisis arises. This gives your loved one time to think about their future and communicate their wishes. Asking open-ended questions such as, “What’s most important to you as you age?” can frame the conversation as a partnership, rather than a directive. This early start shows respect for their autonomy and ensures their voice is heard.
- Lead with Empathy Acknowledge the emotional weight of this decision. Many seniors fear losing their independence, and that fear can make the conversation difficult. By saying something like, “I know this is tough, but I’m here to support you every step of the way,” you’re creating a sense of partnership that reduces anxiety and strengthens trust.
- Focus on Benefits, Not Losses Shifting the conversation from what might be lost to what can be gained is another powerful tactic. Instead of focusing on the potential downsides of moving, highlight the positive aspects: social opportunities, access to care, and less worry about daily tasks. This reframing helps alleviate fear and resistance, making the transition seem like a positive new chapter.
- Involve Trusted Professionals or Third Parties Sometimes, bringing in a trusted professional—whether a doctor, financial advisor, or senior living expert—can offer an objective perspective that resonates with your loved one. Having an external voice can help reassure your parents that their decision is well-supported and in their best interest.
- Take Small Steps Lastly, remember that the process doesn’t have to be rushed. Start small with steps like visiting communities, attending events, or exploring respite care options. This gradual approach can help your parents feel more in control and less overwhelmed by the decision.
Courtesy photo.
These insights are vital in helping families navigate the complexities of senior living decisions. At Seniorly, we understand how important it is to have these conversations early, with empathy and understanding. This is why we’re committed to providing families with not just resources but also personalized support every step of the way.
The journey my grandfather began in 1962 continues through the work we do today at Seniorly. Our platform is designed to make finding the right senior living community as straightforward and stress-free as possible. If you or your family are navigating these decisions, we’re here to help. Let’s keep the conversation going—because it’s never too early to start planning for a future that’s as fulfilling as possible.
Seniorly helps families and older adults find the right senior living for their needs and budget. Combining the power of its advanced technology with the high-touch support of a national network of local advisors, Seniorly is modernizing senior living discovery. Through its online platform, Seniorly provides access to thousands of senior living communities, expert insights, and personalized recommendations based search preferences. Seniorly also has a growing marketplace of trusted companies, offering other services and products that are helpful to families at this stage of life. Founded in 2014, Seniorly currently supports over 4.5 million visitors every year on their senior living journey. To connect with a Seniorly Premier Advisor in Long Beach, visit www.seniorly.com/premier-advisor/carla
