To me… Long Beach is The City for Love.
I met my husband at Polly’s Gourmet Coffee in Belmont Shore. It was March 24, 2006. I was 47, and had never been married. (I know…I was old. Long story for another time.)
There I was driving to Polly’s from my place in the Heights, and I’m thinking: “Geez… here we go again; another waste of time. (I had read something on his online profile that I didn’t like, and I was sure he wasn’t a match for me.) I had promised myself that after this date I was going on hiatus. I needed a rest from dating.
I showed up and he was waiting; pretty good looking, I thought. We each ordered Polly’s blend; talked for about an hour; and then moved to Open Sesame for lunch. Two nights later we had dinner at L’Opera and hopped over to the Madison for a drink. We took our first weekend away 3 weeks later, and planned our wedding three weeks after that. On September 23rd – 6 months after meeting – Larry and I married at the Renaissance Hotel on Ocean.
Hmmm. Turns out that date wasn’t a waste of time after all.
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If you’ve done the math, you’ve figured out that I dated for about 30 years. (Again… let’s just skip the details about that for now.) During those years – for most of which I was actively dating – I teetered between “what’s wrong with me” and “what’s wrong with them.” I also had “who needs a partner anyway” years when I swore I didn’t care and wasn’t looking. But the truth is, I was always looking.
I just didn’t know where to look, how to get their attention, and what the heck to say and do once I actually found someone. It’s like the first time I went fishing: the possibility of catching a fish was exciting, yet I was petrified because I had no idea what I’d do with that weird slippery thing once I caught it.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I finally figured it out. Because now I live my life with the best partner I could have hoped for. I had a great life before I married, but I have an even better one now. And it’s my mission to help others do what I learned to do: get out there, have some fun meeting people and dating, and find a meaningful connection with someone spectacular.
It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a spouse or for someone to hang with and share some intimacy… devoting even a little concentrated time and effort will surely bring you closer to what you’re looking for.
You probably already know that this isn’t always easy. And it’s not always fun. You might be rejected, you might make some bad choices, you might not find anyone you especially like for some time. For some (like me) it’s especially challenging; we people “of a certain age” have a boatload of old attitudes and habits to wade through and sort out.
But if you take the time and give it your attention, you’re likely to find someone you have a rockin’ time with, you can bear your soul to, you can count on, and with whom you can (fill in your own blank here).
Even though there are hundreds of thousands of single people within a 20-mile radius of you, for most of you love won’t just show up at your door. So, I’m here to help you go out and get it. I’m going to give you real-life strategies and advice, cheer you on, offer up ideas, teach you about how we all differ, keep you focused, and stoke your fire when it needs stoking. (By that I mean keep you motivated.)
So, let’s get started. What’s your deal? What are you looking for? What are your biggest frustrations and challenges? Do you know where to look, how to attract good people to you, and what to do once they notice you? Do you want advice on where to go, who should pay, what to say? How about how to stand out among the crowd when you’re using online dating? (My hubs and I connected on match.com.) How about some confidence building or someone to just tell you that you’re not alone and you’re not a loser? (You’re not and you’re not!)
Let me know what you’d like to know about and talk about. Let’s make Long Beach The City for Love for you too. Or at least for a good time.