It’s a sizzling hot Saturday and among the infinite number of places I can’t go is the beach or Alamitos Bay. Thank God for the Wham-O Slip N Slide and my above-ground kiddie pool. The lock-down is to blame, as usual, for my woes today, compounded with unseasonal heat, and tripled with the taxes I’m once again having to pay in order for at least one of my countrymen to enjoy further rounds of golf amid the ruins.

I’m not sure if this heat in a month whose showers are needed to bring May flowers has to do with climate change or not.

My pal and world-renowned climate expert Bill Patzert, who played a big role as a source for “Close to Home,” the Post’s award-winning series on climate change, sent me a list of books on the subject of climate change and other global crises, with the note that I shouldn’t read all of them “or you’ll slit your wrists!”

I’ve already read one, “The Water Will Come: Rising Seas, Sinking Cities, and the Remaking of the Civilized World,” by Jeff Goodell, a great and terribly informative look at the sea’s rapidly increasing incursions on land, and it wasn’t a reading experience that left me hankering for more on the subject.

But, in case life suddenly becomes too rosy to bear, I’ve bought another of Patzert’s recommendations by his friend, Elizabeth Kolbert, “The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History,” which won the Pulitzer Prize for General Nonfiction in 2015. You may read it knowing that things haven’t improved since then. I’m holding this one in abeyance against the happy time when I need something to worry about that’s not COVID-related.

OK, let’s lighten things up a bit. On the plus side, the planet is getting a rare breather with a good chunk of the world shut down, and Patzert writes that he’s killing time in retirement by “plowing through the latest ‘Bosch’ series on Amazon. I love Bosch and the series.

“Read Don Winslow’s and John Sanford’s latest mysteries and fiddled with my yard.

“I’m exhausted by telling people we are totally (doomed). I needed a break. Did my taxes and am honing my cooking skills. Real accomplishments!”

Other readers are dealing with the stay-home order in a variety of ways. Kathleen Schaff, Retro Row pioneer and Meow vintage clothes emporium owner, simply wants to go back in time (is that asking too much) to the 1960s and 1970s “And cook a steak @ the Keona Room right about now. Do you agree?”

And how! The Keona was one of several restaurants/lounges that allowed customers to grill their own steaks. Also Valentine’s on Anaheim and Poor Richard’s on Stearns. Places that let you do all the cooking work are gone for good now, but not Meow. “Counting down the days until Fourth Street can be open for the safe and sane, the new normal business,” writes Schaff.

Reader Terri Griffith is diving into drama and culture during COVID. “Here’s one thing that helps me get joyfully through a couple of hours on Thursday afternoons: ‘Shakespeare Aloud,’ now online,” writes Griffith. “Participants select roles; we simply start at Act I, Scene 1, and go straight through. We generally read only half a play on a given day. Today we tackled the first part of Pericles.

“The program is sponsored by CSULB and is free. Details can be found on the CSULB website. “Beginning last fall, we met in person at the Los Altos Library—until the plague landed, that is. The library proved to be an extremely generous and welcoming host.

“Speaking of libraries,” continues Griffith, employing one of my favorite transitions, “Folks could certainly spend a few minutes donating to the Long Beach Public Library Foundation. Their normal ‘Grape Expectations’ fundraiser—which used to include a fancy feast, live music and a large crowd—has perforce become an online event.”

Go here for details.

Finally, my pen pal Tom Brayton has been musing about haggis, which we mentioned a couple of days ago, and the experience has left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I had to look up haggis,” he writes. “I knew it was horrible, but it is worse than horrible. There are some things we should never talk about. That is one.  It seems inconceivable that the same country that gave us Haggis also gave us Robert Burns. I remain nauseous.”