Kyle Bullock, the youth program director at The Center Long Beach, was inspired by a simple idea to bring more efficient family support groups to his workspace: the idea that we should focus on how support actually functions rather than offer dismal facts and stats regarding the often challenged lives of those outcast from their families for being different.
In fact, his approach is not to force acceptance down parents’ throats or to even attract similar families. “Every family — whether it is a heterosexual parent couple or a homosexual one or a single-parent family — has troubles with their children, especially if those children are LGBT. And it is okay to be supportive even when you’re uncomfortable with your child’s identity.”
In a study conducted by San Francisco State University (SFSU), the average age that someone realized they were part of the LGBTQ community is 13; some even realized at age 7. However, parents — despite their own personal beliefs regarding homosexuality and transgender identities — often don’t account for the possibility that their child might be different. Often referred to as heteronormativity, people (including those of the LGBTQ community) automatically assign heterosexual characteristics to people when no sign of sexuality has been exhibited; this can be our own child or a character we are watching in a movie or someone we just meet.
Given this, parents’ reactions towards their children have an extremely deep impact and, as the study has reflected, simple support helps protect LGBTQ youth against risk. It seems common-sensical but in reality, it is a rather novel concept as it shifts the conversation from accepting vast social views on sexuality to focusing on one’s child alone.
“Parents struggle when their child decides to come out,” Bullock says. “And just as that child needs support, so do the parents — and it is our hope to help guide them through the experience of other parents who have dealt with the same difficulties. If people have question about the LGBT community or questions about what coming out is about — this is our point.”
Bullock, along with a certified mental health facilitator, will help these parents with both their questions and concerns in the hope that family systems will be, simply put, more supportive. Therefore, it is both clinical through the scientific side of family therapy and organically processive through simple group discussion.
And The Center hopes that parents will step forward to eventually create a more regular family support group. So far, a handful of parents have responded affirmatively but The Center needs more in order for the group to properly function. For parents interested in joining the group, please call 562-434-4455.
In addition, as part of The Center’s endeavor to create more family-based events and groups, there will be a presentation on blended familes to occur on August 6 at 7pm. This group is geared for families who have