6:00am | Long Beach has certainly had it share of winter weather lately and your intrepid writer is certain that many of you are longing for the warmth of summer. So for this week’s look at City Hall, where the council moved forward with a lobbying ordinance, here is a summary version of what happened–set to the timeless poem of those warmer months, “Casey At The Bat,” with all due apologies to author Ernest Thayer.

Lobby reform was the talk of the Long Beach Nine that day;
New rules were in the making, so the newspapers did say,
All thanks to Mr. Beckster, of recent Napa-trip fame,
And friend King Murchison, of the local lobbying game.

As the item was called up, Mr. Shannon gave it a read;
“Here are the rules that I propose, the rules that we all need,
We must register the lobbyists–list them all by name,
So we know each of the players, and how they play the game.”

But who is a lobbyist? asked more than one of the Nine;
A lobbyist, said the Attorney, is just as we define:
One who lobbies each three months, for 50 hours or more,
Or makes thirty-two hundred, from those they lobby for.

O’Donnell took the mike and in the most quizzical way,
Asked, this doesn’t exempt anyone who does want to play,
What it does, O’Donnell said, to make it clear as it were,
Is set a threshold for those that don’t need to register.

Correct, agreed Assistant Attorney Heather Mahood,
Hours and/or payments are the things that decide who would,
Register with the city unless an exemption they do get,
Such as city unions or 501(c) non-profits.

But Mahood made it clear, this does not fit you or I,
Only those getting paid to lobby, influence and ply,
The citizens, said O’Donnell, were his real main concern,
And keeping Council offices a place where they can turn.

So the Nine talked on, and then gave the public a turn,
And the public made it clear that the lobbyist must learn,
That City Hall is not for sale and not even for rent,
So these new rules must be tough so none can be bent.

But like rules in the past, rules today, and those yet to come,
The devilish details always leave small loopholes for some,
Worse yet for you and I, and what these rules will never do,
Is make accountable the lapses of a City Hall few.

See, these rules rely on honor as the principle way,
To keep lobbyists honest in what they do every day,
Yes, honor, from the lobbyists, whose career is to ply,
To gift, to cajole, to pressure and to buy.

The rules require lobbyists to report all their time,
To report with due diligence every penny and dime,
But there is no real enforcement, to give just a hint,
That the lobbyists are truthful, and no rules have been bent.

But worst of all these new rules, in their wishy-washy state,
Require not one lobbyist to report any contacts they make,
Not a call, not a letter, not an email nor fine meal,
These rules still keep dark how a lobbied deal becomes a deal.

Now this is no game, played on a grass field with bat and ball,
But a real test of ethics as they work in City Hall,
So any rules that ignore where City Hall’s ethics are at,
Just assure the public that Complacency is at bat.

Yes, Complacency, that brute, who does nothing nor tries,
To really tackle the problems or even find out why,
And so when voting this April tell the Nine with a shout,
That perhaps it is time that this Complacency strikes out.

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