With apologies to Ryan ZumMallen, I think most people would agree with me when I say that Kansas is the ultimate “drive through” state: on a cross country road trip, it’s nearly impossible to avoid, and difficult to find attractions in.  So neither my wife nor I were were looking forward to the incredibly long slog from St. Louis all the way to Denver, with the flat nothingness of Kansas stuck firmly in between.  It was to be the longest day of driving in the whole trip (twelve and a half hours), with probably the least to see.  I know there’s some cool history with KState and Zoomy says that the Kansas Basketball Hall of Fame is pretty cool, but the only remotely sports-related thing we saw from our car window as we cruised at 85mph was a Kansas State sign proudly declaring that the school’s debate team won national championships in 1991 and 1993.  It wasn’t exactly the Football Hall of Fame.

Still, this was one of the day’s we did the most conversing about sports, since around mile 200 the alphabet game got boring, we realized we’d listened to all the music we’d brought, and a creeping boredom began to set in.  The solution?  My wife started peppering me with sports hypotheticals.  “What historic game in any sport do you most wish you were at?” she asked.  “What’s the best team the Niners ever fielded?”  “What professional athlete would do the best in another league?”  And on and on and on, until the hours-long question-and-answer devolved into absurdity, and I had to try and imagine which NFL defensive line would have had the best chance of sacking Batman (yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife).  I went with a 70s Steelers D-Line, by the way.

Three hours later, coming into the western-most parts of Kansas, this new value of sports was undeniable: a subject that is never boring, even under the most boring of circumstances, in the most boring of surroundings.  Ahem.  Again, sorry Zoomy.