The jolly round man in the red suit (not to be confused with Northridge coach Bobby Braswell, and his happy elves, not to be confused with the UCSB coaching staff) will make their rounds this week and leave real and imaginary goodies in the stockings of LBSU coaches.

As a seasonal employee of TSA, we had the assignment of using our unique combination of bio-metric, x-ray and very gentle pat downs to see what each coach will get this year.

Kim Sowder—One of those signs that you see at factories that read “365 Days without an injury.” She has added yet another great pitching prospect in Amanda Hansen, who was named All-State First Team and pitcher of the year in the San Diego Section and added to the now-healing Taylor Petty and Michelle Turner… If LB can steal home twice a day then they should be back on top of the Big West.

Misty May Treanor—A set of business cards that say Head Coach, 49er Beach Volleyball; day and night offs with hubby and newly-signed Texas Ranger Matt Treanor; an autographed photo of her super fan Steve Clapp in this skimpy cross country uniform and healthy wheels for the entire season.

Dan Monson—A method to bottle those good spurts his basketball team has before the Big West games begin… See also Kim Sowder.

Jody Wynn—That one blue chip bell cow to crack open the stay-home-and-play-at-the Beach stampede… See also Dan Monson.

Mauricio Ingrassia—Love beating UCI when it counted… See also Jody Wynn.

Troy Buckley—A ban on fans using stopwatches when he makes that sometimes slow stroll to the mound in 2011 and kids who can hit to the gaps in spacious Blair Field… The pitching should be fine but you have to score somewhere during the first eight and a half innings.

Brian Gimmillaro—A solid setter decision sometime in August and a couple of rounds in the NCAA tournament next December… Another great season for the young Haleigh Hampton and the older, but very wise, Caitlin Ledoux.

Andy Read—Get his super fans Vince and Kay Beck off the DL… Then open up that play book of tricks to sneak up on the MPSF foes in what I hope is the last season in that assemblage before the Big West men get their own league and the NCAA expands the national tourney to eight teams.

Forty Niner Fans—Do some of that end of the tax year gifting to the Beach sports and quit waiting on a Presidentially-imposed student fee increase… Oh yes, always bring a friend or neighbor to the next home game.

LBSU concession stands—Fresh fruit at every game and some of those package deals that they had at the Wooden Classic: 4 Hot Dogs, 4 Sodas and 4 tickets for a good price, say 49 bucks.

Beach Water Polo—A double-sided 402 friendly peace pipe with Shore Aquatics good guys Rich Foster and Chi Kredell on one side and Vic Cegles and Gavin Arroyo on the other… The kids in big town deserve it.

LBSU Marketing—Give Dedan and Sei teams that are as good as those viral videos that put the Beach on the national telly… See also Forty Niner Fans.

RHP Andrew Gagnon—Picked as the 38th best returning college player, Drew needs to find that form he flashed in the Cape Cod League this past Summer… He led the Cape with 5 wins and only 1 loss, striking out 43 batters in 38.2 innings pitched, and sported an impressive 2.10 ERA.

Fantastic Photogs—Best pictures ever of a college program, from Robert Burge, Steve Carr, Michael Yee and the PT crew… Plus nice video on special occasions from the Daily 49er, Post and Grunion.

Re-retired football coach Urban Meyer—One of those snappy wind breakers as an assistant on the Gainesville little league team where his 12 year old son Nathan plays… Urban will also travel to see daughter Nicki, who plays for Georgia Tech’s volleyball team and her little sister Gigi, who volleys for Florida Gulf Coast University.

Jennifer Hilt-Costello—A lot of Euros in the bank to recruit those Euros on the courts… And a cork to put in the snout of those chippy tennis Anteaters… See also 49er fans

‘Niner Golf coaches—A little profit sharing program from those free swinging pros that wear black and gold but make a lot of green.

SID SCOREBOARD DUST—T.J. Robinson had his seventh double-double of the season and Casper Ware scored in double digits for the ninth straight game but it wasn’t enough as Arizona State held off Long Beach State 72-55 at the Wells Fargo Arena Tuesday.

Greg Plater led the 49ers with 15 points, while Robinson finished with 12 points and 13 rebounds and Ware added 12 points and six assists.  Ty Abbott led the Sun Devils (6-4) with 15 points.

Long Beach State finished making just 16-of-48 (33.3 percent) shots, including only 4-of-18 (22.2 percent) from three. They are off until Tuesday when they take that UCSB to Cal Poly trip. The Gauchos and their 7-3 monster in the middle on Tuesday, then the smaller but quicker Mustangs on Thursday the 30th.

Courtney Jacob and Tipesa Moorer led Long Beach State (2-11) with 14 points apiece but the hamburger favorite Double-doubles by Holston and Strachan led North Carolina State to a 92-72 win over Long Beach State in the final game of the Beach Classic at Walter Pyramid. Next up for the ‘Niners, a BWC home opener against UCSB on December 30.

Watch out for the egg nog, it has a little, er, ah, extra flavoring.  See you in 2011.