2:06am, Friday
“We were just outside of Baker, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold” -Hunter S. Thompson
Driving to Las Vegas with the sound of rolled dice and flopped card ringing in my ears, it’s impossible to forget Dr. Gonzo and Raoul Duke, Micky and Trent, Johnny Fontaine and the Mo Green special. Living four hours away from Sin City and being infatuated with film forces me into a relationship with Vegas. A courtship simultaneously based in reality and fantasy.
Speeding through the desert in the dead of night looks the same in any state. But this stretch of California highway is different. This is bat country. This is where Micky made Trent change into his suit because then they’ll give us the rainman suite. This is truly the boulevard of broken dreams.
Like every American male sports fan, I’ve longed for the March Madness weekend on the brightest strip of asphalt in the world. A three-day fest spent drinking and cheering the veracity and passion of the greatest sporting event of the year.
With my sports journalism hat pulled low, I will bring you the ups/downs and tall tales of short stacks from my 72 hours in the desert. Feel free to leave your comments to let me know what an idiot I was for that bet, or what you think I should bet on next.
But keep in mind, like Micky from Swingers, “I pulled out $300 from the ATM… I can’t afford to lose more than that.” But the Trent side of my brain is screaming, “Money, we’re gonna be up five hundy by midnight… VAGAS, baby. VEGAS!!!!”
4:05am, Friday
“I’ll be really quick. You won’t feel a thing.” – Mike McDermott, Rounders
Can’t sleep. Walk to Wynn. Play craps. Win some. Like a vet, put my original money in my back pocket. Lose my winnings on my roll. $ Count: EVEN
8:35am, Friday
Slow and steady wins the race… but start fast!
In an effort to get the weekend off on the right foot, I’m putting down a parlay on Syracuse, Marquette and Kansas on the money line. Is it kind of a wimpy bet? Yes. Does that bother me? Not as much as you would think.
9:00am, Friday
Okay, okay. You’re right. That was a wimpy bet. When I walked into Leroy’s Sports Book at the Riviera, the Kansas line had come back down so I took the Jayhawks to cover the 9.5. I parlayed that with Marquette on the money line. Yes, yes I know Dominic James is still out, and Kansas has lost two of the last three, but I think Bill Self will have Rock Chalk rollin’ again, and Marquette has been underrated all year.
Leroy’s, by the way, is a bit of a hole. It’s only got two betting windows and no place to sit. Plus, there is a creepy bar/diner in the back that doesn’t look very clean… maybe talking crap on the sports book before the game isn’t the best idea…
12:00pm, Friday
“Pay that man his money.” – Teddy KGB, Rounders
Hell of a morning! This is March Madness, and to sweeten the pot, I won my bet by the skin of Jayhawk free throws. Add to that the hectic running around that I wasn’t expecting… seriously, not expecting at all.
I had no idea that: 1. not every hotel has a sports book (don’t know why I assumed they all did) 2. just because the Sahara has a sports book, doesn’t mean you should check it out. No kidding, they had 13 TVs. Four of them were on random horse races, the four in the middle were on college basketball, and the rest were spring training baseball. And the four CBS channels in the middle were all the Marquette game. Like they didn’t have DirecTV??????
Leroy, I’m sticking with you! And I’ve got Cornell +12.5. Those smart kids always ball in the tourney.
By the way Dr. Dan, WVU doesn’t look too good…
12:00pm, Saturday
“Keep ’em playing” – Ace Rothstein, Casino
Let’s go rapid fire for last night:
1. Myself, the World Wide Leader, The Bracketear, T-Money and Ty Webb rode the west coast and bet the Pac 10 parlay. After winning in very close fashion in the morning, it was fun to celebrate a run away victory. The funnest part of Vegas is to win a couple hundred dollars and act like you won thousands.
2. I was so hot, I beat the World Wide Leader in ro-sham-bo for the last beer at Blondies, then went double-or-nothing on a coin flip. Tails never fails, baby.
3. At the craps table WWL spots Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford…
JJ- Hey man, you winning?
Bradford- A little.
JJ- Hey, did you get a lot of pressure to go pro?
Bradford- No. I’m coming back. We’re gonna be good next year.
JJ- You can’t even bet on the games, huh.
Bradford- No. It’s pretty frustrating.
JJ- Blake (Griffin) was on Jim Rome the other day. He was talking about you.
Bradford- What did he say?
JJ- You know, normal shit. Said you guys were a good motivator. And he played Yackity Sacks in the background.
Bradford- What?
JJ- It’s a funny song.
Bradford- Oh. Okay.
JJ- Good luck this year, man.
Bradford. Thanks. Appreciate it.
Ladies and gentleman. The 2008 Heisman winner.
Okay, I’m off to bet on Texas. I trust you Zoomy…
By the way, remember all that money I won on my parlays. Yeah. I lost all that. I love Vegas.
9:30pm, Saturday
“Winner winner, chicken buffet dinner.” – JJ
First, good call Zoomy. I took Oklahoma (Bradford wave) Western Kentucky (10.5 was too much) and Texas (‘cuz f*** Duke) and now I’m five-for-six on the weekend.
We watched the games at Blondies at Paris, and it was a blast. We sat next to a bachelor party for Pee-Wee (no joke, that was his name) who had a lot on Western Kentucky. So, imagine your local pub but with tables lined up in the middle. Then add a bunch of ping pong balls. Literally, balls flying everywhere. If there was a cup or bucket of beer, it was a target. Pandemonium. And Pee-Wee had more alcohol than anyone I’ve ever seen before. (drink, drink, drink…..)
Did I say I love this town yet? To the tables!