Recently a chimpanzee at a Swedish Zoo attacked zoo visitors. He gathered rocks before anyone got there in the morning, sat and waited until there was a crowd, and then proceeded to throw these rocks at guests. Researchers were thrilled, presumably because they weren’t in the line of fire when it happened, but also because it actually proved that this chimp was capable of planning ahead. Upon hearing this, more than a dozen NFL teams contacted the zoo to sign the chimp as their next GM.
As a GM, your main responsibilities are to make sure your players are talented and happy; contrary to popular belief, this is not difficult. But a quick look at this past season and you see the Cowboys ignore the possibility they would need a backup QB; you see the Chiefs keep Herm Edwards even when his team clearly had quit on him; and you see the Browns ignore the fan’s choice for QB, ignore their star TE when he was hospitalized, and tell a fan to f-off and cheer for someone else. Obviously the bar is pretty low for GMs. And amazingly a lot of teams are already getting a jump on 2009 with some mind-numbingly terrible moves. It is with this in mind that we count down the 5 most terrible off-season moves by NFL GMs (so far).
*Honorable Mention: Letting Brian Dawkins leave- Philadelphia Eagles
This doesn’t actually make the Top 5 because this might work out ok for them, but any time you let the Face of your Franchise leave it hurts the fans (yes, he and Donovan McNabb are tied for Face of the Franchise (and yes, the face of a franchise can be a Darth Vader-visor)). This does get bonus points for leading to Facebook-gate (wherein an Eagles employee was fired for speaking out against this move on his Facebook page). However if you saw any interview with said former-Eagles employee, you realize that—like Dawkins—the Eagles organization is probably better off without him.
5. Matt Cassel Trade- The Patriots
Yes, they needed to trade him; to avoid the QB controversy, to not take the salary hit, to sell while his stock was high. This isn’t a hit on getting rid of him, this is a hit on them—in a weak QB market—only getting a 2nd rounder for Cassel and Vrabel. I’ve heard the excuses—they made a deal with KC first, they didn’t want to spend the money on a higher pick, they were in a rush to get rid of them, blah blah blah. That is complete crap. 1) Nobody complains about a higher pick, if they didn’t want to spend the money they could have traded down for more picks. 2) If I tell you I’m gonna sell you my car for 5 grand and someone immediately offers me 10 grand, I’m gonna go with the better offer (and who knows maybe you’ll then increase your offer.) But the idea—that because Belichick made a handshake deal he was locked in—is stupid. 3) They were in a rush. Peter King’s explanation is that Vrabel was owed a roster bonus on March 1st and they had to get rid of him before that. But when there is a developing bidding war, you eat the bonus and see how it plays out. Heck make the other team pay you back the bonus, but don’t marry a girl just because you get some on the first date.
4. Failing to sign a Wide Receiver- (place reserved for the Eagles)
Yes, DeSean (LBC!) Jackson is developing quite nicely but consistency is not his strong suit. The window is closing fast for this team and they need to get one more piece on offense. In my mind there are three options- Anquan Boldin, Plaxico Burress, or Marvin Harrison. Boldin would be huge, but might be too expensive for this team; Burress would be fantastic because not only could he help them win but he would want to stick it to the Giants twice a year, but with that in mind the Giants might not let him go. So my solution: Marvin Harrison. Consistent, veteran. He is going to retire unless the situation is perfect, but what’s more perfect than playing for his home-town team in his final season. So with all these options, why is this in the “Bad Move” folder? Because it’s the Eagles and none of this is gonna happen. They won’t add any pieces and they are gonna fall short. As always.
3. Matt Cassel “trade”- Denver Broncos
The real losers in the Cassel-saga? Denver. Not only did the Patriots not take their better offer, but the Pats then leaked it so it burned the bridge with Cutler. Yes, he asked for a trade before but as a GM your job is to keep your star players happy. Cutler needs to feel wanted and appreciated and now you’ve damaged the relationship (possibly forever). I personally don’t feel that Cassel was ever really an improvement over Cutler but now you’re definitely stuck with Sugar. Denver, if you want to have any success in the next 5 years, fix this. Offer him a backloaded contract extension, you can cut him years down the road if it’s too expensive but you need to make him feel wanted.
2. The Albert Haynesworth signing- Washington Redskins
First things first, he didn’t sign a 7yr $100m deal, he signed a 4 year, $50m deal. In year 5, when he’s 33 and owed $30m for that year, he will be cut. So let’s just look at the logic of signing a 28 year old, 340lb guy with a history of laziness and dirty play to a $50 million deal. I’m not saying Haynesworth is gonna stomp on someone else’s face again, I’m just saying in his first 5 years in the league he had 9.5 sacks, this past season he had 8.5. Does that mean he turned a corner, or does it mean he just played hard for a big contract? Well seeing as how the Redskins signed him, I’m betting it was the latter. A Daniel Snyder-owned team will never do well until he looks at Pittsburgh, and the Giants, and the Pats, and realizes you have to build a team, not buy the most expensive free agents.
1. The Sage Rosenfels trade- the Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings looked at their roster, realized they needed another QB, and someone said out loud: “Ya know who’s good? Sage Rosenfels.” Do you realize that the Texans lost his first 4 starts last year? Or that he turned the ball over 12 times in 6 games? Yes, Vikings you do have a great D and a great running game, so all you needed was a QB that doesn’t kill you; and you came up with Sage Rosenfels? Really?
Matt Cassel was available, Jay Cutler apparently is now available, hell JT O’Sullivan and Chris Simms were available. You know who the Texans got to replace Rosenfels? Dan Orvlosky. Yes, the guy on the Lions that safetied himself and didn’t know it. That’s what the Texans think of who you paid a 4th rounder for. You know who else was traded for a 4th rounder—Randy Moss. Are you really willing to say that you think Sage Rosenfels is worth as much as Moss?
Or how about, maybe, just maybe, you actually try to win something and actually go after Jeff Garcia or Kurt Warner? Heck Anquan Boldin is available too. You never even considered it though did you? You don’t want a championship, you want Sage Rosenfels.
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Remember that chimp, with the rocks and stuff? Don’t worry, no one got seriously hurt because apparently his aim was just terrible. Forget about him being a GM, I bet the Vikings are willing to go after him for their QB.