Jeremy: “I didn’t behave like a man.”

Natalie: “You’re apologizing like one.”

Sports Night, “Special Powers”

For about fifteen minutes, I hated Ed Hochuli like I hate the taste of rancid popcorn.  The fact that he had previously been my favorite referee (because of his fairness, and his oil drum-sized guns) only made my blood boil more.  I’m referring, of course, to Hoc’s blown call at the end of the Bolts/Broncos shootout last week, which cost the Chargers their second consecutive game, dropping them to an inconceivable 0-2 on the season. 

But…time passes, and hatred softens into bitterness, and eventually into acceptance and insight.  Hoc didn’t cost us the game, I realized—our defense did, and LT’s toe did, and Jamal Williams and Shawne Merriman’s injuries did.  Hoc just blew a call at the end of the game; did it change the outcome of the game?  Yeah, definitely.  But blaming a blown call is like blaming the weather—it’s a part of the sport.  Fact is, the way the Broncos defense played for half that game, the Chargers should have won by 14 points.

A big part of my change of mind came from how Hochuli handled the mess.  Associates said Hoc was anguished, racked by self-guilt and having trouble sleeping.  “Good,” I thought.  “Serves him right.”  Then the NFL said he would be graded down on their charts, which determine whether a ref participates in playoffs, or if he’s even retained for future seasons.  “Well,” I said, “He’s still a good ref.  Nobody I’d rather have calling a Bolts game in the playoffs, still, since along with Mike Carey he’s the only ref I count on to be fair.”  Then I heard that he was responding, individually, to every piece of hate mail he got to his easily searchable email address.  “Wait.  What?!”  If you’ve ever been to a Chargers home game (which I’m preparing to do right now, actually), you know how Bolts fans can get when they’re angry, or drunk, or awake.  It’s vicious.  And Hochuli was reading those emails, and writing heartfelt apologies back.

What a man.  If I’d boffed a call like that, bet that I’d be in Hawaii hiding out, not spending all day every day reading about how pissed everyone was at me, and writing polite and sincere messages back in response.  It’s the kind of behavior you expect from a superhero, not an NFL ref.  So I wrote an email myself, telling him that I personally forgave him, and telling him to keep his head up.  Sure enough, a day and a half later, he wrote back to thank me for the email, and to tell me that he’ll, “learn from the mistake and move on,” but that, “this one will live with me for a long, long time.”  For a perfectionist like Hochuli, I don’t doubt that it will.  But in life, everyone messes up—that’s just the way it is.  What matters is how you deal with it, and Hoc couldn’t be doing a better job.  I welcome him back to the Q any day, and hope Chargers fans will join me in keeping their punches above the belt.