As sure as this word has been bolded, Pacman Jones will find trouble. It’s just what he does. TBL is not surprised that he started a fight with his bodyguard–no, we’re beyond the courting stage. I suppose it’s nothing but ordinary given the money being made by signing problematic players. The Pacmans and Ocho Cincos of the world guarantee your team’s brand a segment on Sportscenter and some page space in rags like this one. I guess we’re part of the problem at TBL, as usual. What to make of this? Science, that’s what. This just follows football’s Fibonacci sequence: Raider coach fired, Chad Johnson tweaking his name, optimism towards the Buffalo Bills, Kerry Collins starting at quarterback for a hot team, and Pacman in trouble. It’s all too predictable in the year ’08.

The story for the Dodgers is now whether or not they will sign Manny Ramirez after he ended the season as the hottest hitter in baseball. They must be scared shitless.  To bomb on another hefty acquisition would only seem logical–we’ve seen it before, most recently with Andruw Jones. Manny’s best years are behind him, so why pay him top-dollar? Above average doesn’t cut it for over $20 million a season.

This whole Big 12 thing is getting incestuous. Top-ranked Texas, after beating then number one Oklahoma the week before, looked great against #11 Missouri. Missouri, you know, was beaten by #8 Oklahoma State last week, too. 16th ranked Kansas lost to the 4th ranked Sooners, of course, and Texas Tech is fooling nobody at #7. Thank you, preseason rankings.

USC scored 69 points against Washington State last Saturday and it wasn’t even that close. Washington is still winless and can’t score in a brothel. It’s been a tough apple harvest.

Everybody is riding the bus, except for John Madden. Big J needed some time off, so says NBC, to see his grandchildren and did not join Al Michaels for Sunday’s broadcast in Tampa Bay. TBL’s friend and foe Yikes saw John Madden walking in Qualcomm Stadium last Monday, limping around like a beaten mule and pale. Here’s to you John, the only guy who has successfully pulled off the Dumb Jock in the booth. I forgive you for putting Joe Theismann into context, but reluctantly so. Get better.

I ran 13.1 miles last weekend in the Long Beach Half-Marathon, and actually had a good time doing it despite all pretenses of what I thought could be fun. I don’t understand real runners, the marathoners, and I don’t imagine I ever will. I learned a few things, though. For example, lock the door on the port-a-potty when you make a pit stop. I enjoyed being part of the mass who woke up at 6:30 to annihilate the morning frost, and it was time well spent with my brother. All Great Men Run.