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Happy last Wednesday of November. You know the drill. 

After a week of Drinksgiving, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday and perhaps a few Friendsgiving parties preceding that week — you might be ready to bypass December altogether. Or perhaps you’re chomping at the bit for it.

If you’re experiencing the latter, swell — we’ve got plenty to do. For the exhausted, the stuffed and still hungover camp, check out this ~ self-care ~ anti-social guide and feel free to stick your head in the sand until next week. 

Today we’re going to talk about all manner of things that do this: *ੈ✩‧₊˚✧˖°.

In case you didn’t get that, I’m talking about holiday lights. No matter where you sit on the Cindy-Lou to Grinch spectrum, it’s hard to hate on the twinkly-sparklies. 

There’s plenty that will be illuminated in Long Beach, from the Convention Center to Daisy Avenue to the newer neighborhood holiday arches on the Eastside. While some of these destinations will be accessible by car, a few will get you out walking off last week’s potatoes ‘n’ such. 

In a later newsletter, I’m also going to mention a few out of town holiday light destinations that won’t disappoint, so stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, grab a friend, your family or maybe a cute date and let’s — as the kids say — get lit.

Naples Island Christmas Lights

I’m going to start with an obvious one. But if it isn’t obvious to you, it will blow your sockets. Naples Island, just south of Belmont Shore is one of Long Beach’s highest-heeled hoods. It’s a place where (most of) the canal-facing dwellers light up their homes from foundation to chimney — and all of those twinkly-sparklies are reflected back on the water *chef’s kiss*. 

But we’re not talking just about lights, most of the displays are themed. Some tell holiday stories. Other homes even have animatronics. If Disneyland isn’t in the financial cards this year, this is free-ninety-nine and gets the job done. 

If you’ve got the cheddar and you really want to get up in the action, you can rent a holiday lights gondola cruise for $200. Book here. 

Oh, and while you’re in the neighborhood, be sure to check out the lighted Trees on the Bay in Spinnaker Bay and Bay Shore Beach.

Pro-tips: 

• Snag yourself a hot beverage or a treat for the walk. While it’s easy to hit Colossus, Philz, Cinnaholic, Sweet Jills or any of the other nearby spots beforehand, Carmen’s Coffee, Naples’ resident turquoise espresso truck, will be slanging hot cocoa and other treats nightly at La Bella Fontana Park again, where most begin their walk through the canals.
• Bring some cash. If you turn the right corner on your way through the canals, you’ll find some folks handing out goodies and kids selling hot cocoa. 
• Make it a boozy canal cruise by making a pit stop at K.C. Branaghans on your way in. They will fix you an excellent Irish coffee.

If you were left wanting for more, on Dec. 16 at 6 p.m., dozens of blinking boats will promenade through the illuminated canals for the Naples Island Boat Parade. For its 77th year, the theme is “Christmas Around the World.” More info here.

Daisy Lane

For almost 70 years, a street in the Wrigley neighborhood has transformed itself into one of the city’s most beloved holiday landmarks. Each year, houses and medians on Daisy Avenue are decked out in holiday scenes, Christmas villages and more with the help of residents and local officials. While you can take a walk or a drive through Christmas Tree Lane to gawk at the lights any old time this season, the street will spring to life for its 69th Annual Daisy Parade on Dec. 9 at 5 p.m. More details here.

Pro-tip: Swing by the Wrigley Tavern or the Wicked Wolf (with a saintly designated driver) on your way over for a boozy lighted tour. 

Miracle at the Ordinarie + Convention Center

Let’s say you’re in the mood for a shorter walk through holiday lights and you’d like to elongate the boozy element I’ve tacked onto a few lighted tours. Then might I suggest that you, yes you, make a reservation (right now, hurry, hurry) at The Ordinarie to get a seat at their yearly Miracle pop-up. 

Adults rejoice, their cocktail list is comically crude but the ingredients in each drink are guaranteed to serve up all of the cozy jolly feelies we loved about the holidays growing up. Take some of these for example:

• Jingle Balls Nog: Cognac, cream sherry, almond milk, cream, egg vanilla and nutmeg
• Yippee Ki Yay Mother F****r!: Barbados rum, rhum agricole, Trinidad overproof rum, ube & coconut orgeat and acid-adjusted pineapple juice
• Elfing Around #2: Cognac, mulled wine reduction, champagne, lemon, aromatic bitters and absinthe

You can also ask for a Nice or a Naughty Shot. Your call. 

After you’re done, take a stroll down the Promenade toward Ocean Boulevard. Hang a left, then another right (safely, safely) at the crosswalk toward the massive display of some 500,000 lights and a 67-foot Christmas tree in front of the Long Beach Terrace Theater. 

There, you’ll also find Instagrammable installations, the BestHibachi Japanese food truck reliably parked nearby from 5 p.m. to midnight — and plenty more razzle dazzle. Take a long gander, taxpayers. And remember to use one of the city’s free shuttles, Uber, or bring a sober friend if you’ll be merry-making. 

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Notice, we didn’t go over all of the lovely-lit neighborhoods you should be visiting in Long Beach this season. What areas are you visiting to get your light fix? Email me. (Please.)