It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s… Irvine. In Long Beach. • Long Beach Post

When you first look at the proposed Riverwalk Residential Development Project set for just north of the Virginia Country Club and east of the LA River, you can’t help but chuckle.


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“Am I looking at an Irvine development? Oh, wait, that’s… That’s the 710. And that is the LA River. This is in Long Beach.”

The 10.56 acre project will have 131 single-family, 2- to 3-story homes with lots ranging from 1,119 sq. ft. to 1,450 sq. ft. (And we’ll assume will be playing the theme to Weeds upon entry through the single entrance—yes, single entrance.) It was the former site of the Will J. Reid Boy Scout Camp but the Scouts have abandoned it, making way for Newport Beach-based Integral Communities to “[remove] of all remaining vegetation, trees, and structures on the site, including an amphitheater, deck, five buildings, two tool sheds, an old mobile home, and a parking lot, after which 30,000-40,000 cubic yards of imported fill would be placed on the site,” according to the draft study.

Riverwalk01

Let’s get back to that single entrance along Daisy Ave., with its wheel-of-death roundabout entrance. The only benefit to it will be the rec center and pool for the proposed site, giving one the sensation of the best that Irvine tract houses have to offer. And don’t worry, folks: in case of emergency, one more exit will be provided off of Oregon but, unless the world is falling apart, will remain closed. Because we don’t want the outsiders getting inside.

Fear not with parking: 262 private parking garages for the 131 units will be provided along with 40 on-street spots so there will be absolutely no need for you to use your bike or feet.

RiverwalkMAP

And the HOA has got your back: you will have private access to the LA River (unfortunately without your car due to legal red tape) via a single entrance along the west edge of the development. Thank the gods, the City—should they approve the project—is requiring the cookie-cutters to create a park to the southwest of Del Amo and Oregon Ave.

All we need now is an Olive Garden and we’re good to go because when you’re trapped here, you’re forced to be family. Kinda like that corporate seaside hotel in Redondo Beach

Disclosure: the opinions expressed in this piece are exclusively that of its author, Mr. Addison.

Editor’s note: this article originally said “plans ranging from 1,119 sq. ft. to 1,450 sq. ft.” when it intended to specify that lot sizes were of that range; not home sizes.

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