Any given night of the week, you can find beautiful girls singing, dancing and entertaining customers over drinks and dinner. Although they may not be your “typical” girls, they sure do give any genetic-born girl a run for her money. Undoubtedly, Hamburger Mary’s and Executive Suites in Long Beach host several nights of drag shows that are fun for the gay and straight communities.
It seems seeing men dress in drag has become common; once very under-the-radar is now absurdly mainstream. Drag Race, anyone? Drag queens pretty much play Master of Ceremonies for almost your nightly queer outings at any club or bar, act as your very gracious door host, and become that all-around local and familiar face that many love. Hey, Jewels!
Though drag and the transgender community are definitely not the same they do share a common thread: expression. So then I ask, if it is all so common to see the lines of gender blurred and now easily alterable, why is the Trans community in a sense excommunicated?
Growing up in a religious-but-not-so-religious, Italian/Mexican family, I completed my Catholic sacraments, had large family gatherings and still remained the effeminate person that I came naturally to be. In middle school and high school, being out was pretty lonely–even though it was the new millennium. It seemed I was the only one walking around campus not afraid to be called demeaning and extremely hurtful names. Once I graduated high school and discovered the lively city of West Hollywood, I knew I was “home” in a sense.
Gay Prides came and went and I went through boyfriends like they were seasonal handbags. For myself, it never felt quite right being a gay man. Once I started go-go dancing in Long Beach and befriending the drag queens at clubs, I really felt dressing as a woman for entertainment was not only an art but something that spoke to me.
Like others before me, I have found that many more young gay and lesbian kids do not fit into the just-a-boy or just-a-girl category. It took me twenty-one years to finally decide to live the life of my dreams: no longer denying I was female.
To be completely honest, I did not know transitioning was even an option. Maybe at eighteen the idea and thought of being able to change your physical appearance to be female or male from what you were born was in the deepest place in the universe that I had not yet discovered. Once I had made friends with several drag queens that had a running show at the Hamburger Mary’s, I made several attempts to dress up, feeling completely out of my element but at the same time very much at ease. Looking in the mirror and seeing myself with lashes, blush, lipstick and a wig made me feel something I had not felt since I was a child: imagining I was just like every girl on the playground–until of course I was told different.
I can recall at the beginning of my transition the already awkward, vulnerable state I was in–without having the cheap two-cents opinion of guys I did not even know asking why I would transition. Talk about the opposite of encouragement from the community I had spent so much time in. It was like coming out all over again, only this time I thought it was going to be slightly easier.
Many of the girls were not quite sure why I wanted to transition; they felt comfortable wiping off the makeup, taking off the heels and wigs and going about daily, gay male life. They were comfortable being men and doing drag shows and it seemed I had been putting on a show myself for nineteen years. Feeling like being a boy was what I had to do rather then what I wanted to do, even though I had experienced a world where gender was very much open for interpretation it felt less then encouraging.
Finding no support in the place I once felt the most at home, I ventured off to fashion design school and eventually ended up working for a design company in downtown L.A.
Friendless and new to downtown, I discovered strength from my designer boss, who encouraged me to be myself and own the transition process. Meanwhile, many of the friends I had thought would be my friends throughout my transition decided that it was simply too much.
As a trans woman I still find myself stuck in the middle of the gay and straight worlds, but can confidently say both communities are starting to embrace transsexual individuals slowly but surely.
Trans model Lea T and androgynous model Andrej Pejic, whether knowingly or unknowingly, have helped to mainstream the idea of beauty outside just one norm. To which many LGBT youth can grab inspiration from and feel confident to be who they are. As a community I would say I have seen the good and the bad as far as being a trans woman goes and not every one can understand what it feels like to need to transition. It is just as much a struggle everyday to want to be ‘normal’ and fit in as it is to be openly gay and accepted.
Although there are bumps in anyone’s road to self-discovery, we live in a society now where being different is much more appreciated. We are all different and when we allow our differences to shine through we can become wholesome and more open to appreciate others for who they are. We need to inspire and encourage the new generation to love themselves so they can love one another, once that is established everything we have ever wanted for the LGBT community will fall into place.