“When you gradually come back, you don’t jump into it with both feet, You say, what are the things you could still do and still approach normal? One of them is absolute compulsive hand-washing. The other is you don’t ever shake anybody’s hands.”
Things saved: A bottle of 1995 Joseph Phelps Insignia wine, the last dram of a bottle of Early Times that was my granddad’s and a bottle of “emergency” Beefeater gin. Maybe a couple of swizzle sticks and some ashtrays in case I decide to take up smoking again.
True, you might look like Mort from the Bazooka Joe comics (sorry, I don’t have a more modern reference), but as a medical safety expert would say, “Them droplets ain’t going anywhere.”
I’m gonna shop like a billionaire’s trophy wife. And I’ve got plenty to spend. My wife gave me my $100/week allowance a month ago. I just checked my wallet and now there’s $126 in it. I’m making money just sitting here.
“One thing I have noticed about conspiracy theorists is they are always, always, the smartest people in the room,” writes Tom Brayton. “Of course, one reason for this is they are usually the only person in the room. Little competition.”
Still have things to do around the house? Don’t worry, there’s still plenty of time.
Solitaire is the Official Card Game of COVID-19, in which a second person is actually superfluous other than to make irritating remarks like “You can put the red queen on the black king,” as if you didn’t already see that.
It makes more sense if you read these hoax tweets while wearing an aluminum foil hat. I don’t know why. I’m no scientist. Maybe it blocks out reason and sanity.
When Debi stopped answering her phone or responding to text messages, her daughter drove over to the house and found her mom feverish, disoriented, with a horrible cough and unable to make much sense.
I’ve just purchased my Spring Line of Corona Couture online: Sweat pants, four T-shirts and a new pair of slippers.
